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Yes, Yes, I have all intentions of being a lady, but it never lasts long. Last night, I was reading a feedback where the author thought my writing was “outlandish bordering on feminist ideas.” So, I decided to write another piece not wanting to disappoint him. So, this article is dedicated to Mr. Whoever-he-is. I hope I don’t disappoint you.
My sister’s best friend often tells me that when I speak, she actually cringes at my choice of words. She often has great urges to rinse my mouth with soap water. I have been accused of being, perhaps, a little weird-- a person overtly fond of profanity and taboo because I always like to do or say what I am not supposed to. Ah! The sweet taste of the forbidden fruit. I guess there is a little bit of “Eve” in us after all.
I make no claims at being politically correct, even tactful in most cases. I take great pleasure in reading Playboy or Maxim – and fully believe that excessive amount of humor can be attained from those that fester with “crassness.” I will also admit (since I am in the topic of confessions!) that I love to shock people. I like to see the “shocked” expressions on their faces when I say something “outlandish.” Profanity is therapeutic for me, and my diverse knowledge of words -- however tainted -- has done me well all these years. I’ve always deemed it a safe alternative to both physical violence and mental meltdown.
Perhaps it is my “attitude” that plays an important role. Now, I could go on and on in this column with a long list of clichés on this topic, but I'll spare us both the time grief this would involve.
Most psychologists would tell me that my behavior is “acquired” rather than “inherited.” They may also swear that family dysfunction might be the culprit in my case. But I will proclaim to my dying day that nature -- not nurture -- is the culprit of this specific behavior.
Upon further thinking, I was thinking about all the people in my life who have been largely responsible for this.
Take my mother for example: She is a very vivacious woman in her early 50’s who has never cussed or said an improper word in her life. While growing up we were not allowed to swear or use “bad” words, which were remotely improper in her dictionary. Words like idiot, donkey, and stupid were taboo in the house. (Of course rules are for fools) I have given my mother lot to worry about but decades of anxiety and work has left her with black hair (Thank you Godrej!) and a few laugh lines, but it has not diminished her sense of humor – or her cackling laughter.
Mee, my dad’s favorite name for her, is a prim and proper person and it definitely couldn’t be her doing. Right?
2nd culprit: My Cousin Gang. Less said the better. We epitomize the adage birds of a feather…We have all turned out fine in life – married respectable, “responsible” men and women yet pursuing our own dreams and ambitions, with the exception of my “little cousin” who is 5’11 and tucked away in Eng. School.
My cousins personify the term bluntness, scandalous and outrageous- another characteristic that is collectively paramount in my family. These, coupled with our utter lack of restraint, have many wild stores to brag about.
As for my friends, they were also victims to a gene pool overflowing with an appreciation for the taboo. One could never be too sure of what conversation would arise when we sat on the oh-so-famous-Mount Carmel-drive. I distinctly remember having spirited discussions about the greatest-novel-of-all-times, Kamasutra or Kalidasa or discuss our mutual “crushes” We spoke about the weirdest things under the sun and somehow the conversation always centered on the F and S words.
I have made a noble attempt to rise above all this and be true to my DNA. I have tried to restrict my conversation to the rational and the responsible but have never quite managed to phase out that part of myself that thrives on the risqué. I have instead decided to foster my inner pervert and decided to bring it out only once in a while.
Well, it seems to be working out just fine…for now.
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Leena Kamath
Leena has a Bachelors and Masters in Journalism and currently works
for a shipping company in San Jose, California.
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