My friend underwent a surgery last month when she went back home for a vacation. She had a basketball size tumor in her ovary. Lucky for her, they diagnosed it in time. No surgery is ever easy, as this one clearly wasn't. She went through so much in that little time that it was hard to believe that she was the person who this was happening to. She was not the same again and I don't think she ever will be.

Just to be on the safe side, the doctors advised her to have chemotherapy. She is almost done with the sessions, but it was shocking to see a person undergo so many changes. The sessions have made her feel nauseous, weak. She started losing hair too. When I came back to Pittsburgh, I was appalled to see my friend reduced to that stage. She had become frail and thin; it was like seeing someone for a cancer documentary.

Seeing such a change in someone you know is a shock - no matter how prepared you are or no matter how little you know the person. When I asked her how she felt and if she was hurting, (stupid question huh?) she said, "I don't think about things like that anymore. What will crying do? I am just going to make myself more miserable. I will never forget the look on her face when she told me this.

I remembered Sr. Lenny telling us that attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference during times like this. I don't think I gave it much thought then. But now it became very clear to me.

Things happen. People die. Hair falls out. And despite the sickness and sadness and when the days the sun doesn't come out, the only thing in our hands, is the way we handle the situation - how we overcome it and sometimes how we have to overcome ourselves.

My friend did it. She took the sickness as a temporary setback in her life. She refused to let the side effects get to her. Her smile was big and her sense of humor as outrageous as ever. She did not let the disease "define" who she is. She once asked me, "So, how do you like the new, sexy me?" We both laughed.

Through her, I have realized how much an outlook can change the situation and how futile worrying and crying is. Dealing with the situation that is beyond our control, I think we forget about the only thing that is: Our attitude.

Worrying and crying will not cure my friend. But neither will laughing I suppose. But what it all boils down to is that she is happy in one situation and in the other she is not. It's that simple.

A microcosm of life.