A Fish Called Sylvia
Leena Kamath-Shenoy

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I am a ridiculous person. This I know and people I know think so too. I have quietly reconciled to this fact through the years and now just to keep people content, I act weird. Being weird has become an integral part of my character. Sounds weird huh? I make cooing sounds at dogs, talk to my husband although he lives 5000 miles away from me and I have recently extended this behavior to our new pet Sylvia.

Sylvia is a gold fish. Or I guess I should say Sylvia is our daughter. We got Sylvia from a pet store in downtown Pittsburgh on a cold Sunday morning. We looked around and stared at the school of fish for over 3 hours before we decided to bring Sylvia into our lives. She peered at us through the glass, silently pleading us to take her home. Her home.

After receiving careful instructions from a tall, bulky Australian [mite], we headed home with a plastic bag and Sylvia merrily swimming in it. I don't have any children and God knows that I want my uterus unproductive for at least another couple of years. Right now, a fish is enough stress for me.

Sylvia our little bundle of joy has become quite a serious responsibility for all those who know her. Everyone who comes to our home stops to say hi to her and engage in small talk with her. There is something about animals that makes humans go weak-kneed. Wonder why?

We have already planned our activities for the much-awaited-oh-so-precious weekend. We are going to give Sylvia a bath, powder her and give her nice treats to eat. And NOT the boring fish food one can find in pet supplies.

Which reminds me, we went to the pet store last week to bring supplies for Sylvia. And boy-0-boy! I cannot even begin to explicate my experience to you. Just like how people visit India to see the Taj Mahal, Paris to see Eiffel Tower, a trip to the United States to see a pet store is a must. We bought gourmet fish food, fish deodorant, fish soap, fish accessories, fish toys (for Sylvia to play when she is bored!) and also a [blasted] fish comb. Well, all I can say is that this country is perfect for [weird] people like me!

We have taken an active interest in Sylvia’s future. Sure, we cannot set up an education or a trust fund for her, but we have [carefully] chosen a godmother for her who is willing to take care of her when I move out or if either of my roommates are maimed or killed sometime in the near future.

Sylvia is growing everyday and when she fully grows up, we will have to pick out an aquarium that fits her size and suits her personality. But that will come…soon. We are enjoying her childhood day now. Like proud parents of a newborn baby, we are relishing her development and reveling in her success. Just the other day, I noticed her fins had grown bigger and he stomach had grown huge. I freaked out! I yelled to my roommate and asked him if she was pregnant! He looked at me strangely, a quizzical and an almost funny look on his face. I realized I was being ridiculous.

But that's me.

-LKS

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