During my early working days in 1960s and '70s as an employee, I used to have friends and colleagues of my age, education and culture. Though our income was poor we were rich in our idealism. Whenever we went to a liquor joint [going to a Hotel Bar was beyond our means] or a party, our discussions often veered around political philosophy, well - known authors like Bertrand Russell [a favourite], Karl Marx, Friedrich Engels, Dr. Radhakrishnan to Dale Carnegie and the like.

We were also highly accommodative in real - life situations born out of necessity [helplessness, you may call it] or because of our culture. Even in situations in public places or our own offices [and at home too] which could be irritating, annoying or even provocative we would be sagely silent, quiet and tolerant. Rarely did we orally or physically respond or retaliate.

Later as time passed and times changed, as we grew old, got married, our responsibilities increased and new friends came into our lives in the place of the old, our attitudes too changed. There were occasions where we have quarreled and retaliated. I had become impatient and even intolerant with real - life situations I mentioned above — in public places, office, home and hotels. I remember the evening when I had been to a 4 - star hotel in city with a friend for dinner and the argument I indulged in with the waiter at the time of paying the bill to the utter embarrassment of my friend and a profusion of apology from the steward. I regretted it later, though it was a good business lesson to the steward and the waiter. And in good manners to me as well.

I was reminded of this unbecoming conduct on my part when I read recently an incident that happened in an Italian hotel at Tuscany. It appears; a tourist on holiday went into a restaurant with his wife and ordered for two cups of coffee. The waitress got two cups of coffee, kept it on the coffee counter and called aloud the customer to come and collect the coffee, sheepishly saying, "I can't carry it to your table as I have a lot of work to do here."

The customer gently walked up to the counter, collected his coffee, enjoyed it with his wife. He paid the bill but did not give any tips [call it “gratitude”] of 15 per cent which is statutory as service charges.

After the customer had left, the waitress Francesca was wondering if she had seen this man somewhere before, as his face looked familiar to her. Suddenly she remembered. Yes, indeed, he is David Cameron, the British Prime Minister. And soon this became news and media carried it.

After spending a week touring Tuscany and the surrounding tourist destinations with his family and friends, Cameron once again went to the same hotel and met the same waitress Francesca and spoke to her about what happened during his first visit. He told her in a patronising way not to feel bad or apologetic about not recognising him or being unable to serve him at the table personally and before leaving ordered for coffee. This time he gave a hefty tip and left the hotel.

Nobody, much less, waitress Francesca, thought Cameron would re - visit that hotel at all after that experience and publicity. This second visit too made news in the media. The last word from Francesca: What a wonderful guy he is!

Cameron's conduct here is what the quintessential quality of a cultured person is all about. Let us all emulate him, even if some in his own country do not as we witnessed during the recent four days of rioting, arson and looting. As for yours truly, this old man is learning from youngsters like Cameron.

Tail Piece:
I remember my late brother Dr. K. B. Subbaiah telling me about how he was embarrassed and also taught a lesson in good manners while placing order in a restaurant. He and his friend had gone to a restaurant in London. When the waiter came, he said "Get me two coffee" like a military officer's order. The white waiter, giving an understanding smile said, "Please sir." Since then, my brother told me, that he learnt to add the word "please" whenever he ordered food in a restaurant.

And may I add that we should also learn to use beautiful words like “thanks”, “no mention please”, “my pleasure”, “nice of you” etc.

By K. B. Ganapathy
Editor in Chief
e-mail: kbg@starofmysore.com
Courtesy: Star of Mysore