An alumnus of Mysore Medical College, Dr. P.K. Vedanthan is an NRI, unique in some ways. Suave in demeanor and soft in speech, he belies his nearly four decades of life spent in USA.
Having specialised in the treatment of asthma, with his establishment at Lakewood, Colorado, he spends part of the year at his base camp in Krishnamurthypuram, Mysore.
Our Correspondent in a recent interview at his residence, asked him some questions relating to the ethos of Indians who have made America their home. We publish here excerpts of Dr. Vedanthan's views.
NRIs may be in comfort money - wise. Are they so otherwise?
My friends in Colorado say that I am a true NRI because I am not a resident there half the time. The other kind are non-returning Indians. While agreeing with you for the first part of your question, may I say that money doesn't fetch everything in our life. Most people know that money doesn't complete the whole circle if we take into account life on emotional, sentimental and spiritual planes. Not to deny money's importance to provide material comfort. America is most suited to pursue a spiritual life because nobody bugs you there. In India, we can imbibe thoughts and conduct because of exposure. In America, we have to create those attitudes. Freedom to do that is unlimited.
The second and subsequent generations of US residents of Indian origin are said to be neither here nor there. What is your assessment?
The second generation of Indians in America is very interesting in many ways. Of course, there are individual variations. The first generation went to America with dreams of establishing themselves there. At that time, India too was different. Money was difficult to get for trips abroad. The second generation is placed comfortably. They can pursue professions with multiple options.
They have a stable platform from which they can take off. They can choose between American way of life or Indian. They have developed a truly inter-national outlook. There is no confusion in their mind about what they want to do in life, given their confidence and independent thinking. In the first generation, we were just following conventions. We were afraid of straying. Not the second generation. They are forward looking, not ritual-oriented, progressive. No inhibition of any kind.
The 400 plus Shiva - Vishnu temples across America may not be as much in vain as their countless counterparts in India, given the lack of probity in public and private life. What is your gut feeling?
Once you get out of India, you take India much more seriously. You look at India differently. You also look at yourself differently. One doesn't have to go to a temple in America. In most of our homes, we have the puja room. There is a virtual temple right there at home.
The environment generated in one's home is more important than visiting the temple as a ritual. Much worse is the practice of chanting mantras without understanding their message. We used to take our children to Hindu camps of one week to two weeks duration to give them exposure to our ancient philosophical thoughts. They have benefited much from that more than by merely going to the temple. Interestingly, Hindu way of life was explained by Americans in those camps. In one of such camps, the guru was an American lady sanyasin by name Saraswathi — a Jew, she was never boring in her discourses. She would answer questions, even stupid ones, with a smile (in fact, today, Sept. 30, is 'Ask a Stupid Question Day!)
I myself understood the basic aspects of Hindu way of life from her for the first time. She herself received training for 10 years in Sringeri. Temples in America also have a negative side to them. They are created by people who suffer from ego. Most of the temple managements have borrowed large sums and are in deep debt. The boastful nature of even those who have donated money to temple funds defeats the whole purpose of building temples, whether here or there. Appeals for more funds are common.
The West has gratefully taken our vedic wisdom, yoga, ayurveda, fine arts, kurta, vegetarian food habit and even namaste. Our side of the account is dismal. How come?
West is becoming East and East is becoming West. At the time I went to the US for the first time, there was no colour TV. On my return to India, I found that within two years of black and white TV coming, colour TV had arrived. Then, in quick succession came VCR, DVD, mobile pho-ne, digital camera and many modern devices all over the place. Similarly, there is a sea change in the outlook and thinking of children and the youth with each year passing. The changes are amazing. They are talking much in western style in cities here.
The gap is narrowing very fast. There is a huge difference between the attitudes of the younger generation and the older generation in India. That difference is much less in the US itself. That is my perception. In other words, youngsters in India are embarrassing their elders much more than in the US in the matter of food habits, dress code, conduct towards others and preference. This may gradually percolate to the towns and villages also.
Minorities of only specific religious order are bestowed some privileges in India. How about in the US?
When we are in the US, they don't look at us as an Iyengar or Gowda or Lingayat or whatever. We too feel that we are Indians first. That is a great feeling. We have the same benefits as well as problems. We help out each other in times of need. Life is dictated by 'Give'n' take'. Meets such as Satsang promote the family-like bondage among Indians in the US. When we get together and debate issues, including religious ones, what anyone says gets focus and not who says among ourselves. I don't notice any caste, colour to what somebody says. May I add, that feature is grossly unlike here back home.
Grandparents of Indians visiting the US suffer boredom after a while. What is your remedy to make them enjoy their visit and wear a smile?
Work-life goes on at a brisk pace there much like that in metropolises here. Both husband and wife work five days a week to a tight schedule. Taking care of their elders visiting them is a tough proposition. However, similar to many senior citizens in the US who are blessed with fitness, our elders also can engage themselves in a variety of social service activities. Opportunities are plenty; only they should be willing. They can certainly wear a smile. Many old couples from India living with their children have done it. They teach in schools, read books of their liking in libraries and so on.
Someone who knows America said it will become unfit for living in fifty years. Do you see the trend?
That is too much of a drastic statement. True, America is changing. The entire world is undergoing change. While changes is always painful, it also provides opportunities. It is painful when we don't adjust to the changes. It is a joy when we adjust. What matters ultima-tely is how you look at the change which in turn depends on your attitude to life and others around you. Happiness lies in keeping oneself busy with the work one relishes.
Healthcare and legal service costs in America are maddening. The first is moving to India gradually. How about the second?
Healthcare and legal services are very expensive in America. The same feature can be observed in India. A major health problem is enough to drive anyone bankrupt here. In contrast, about 80 per cent of people in America have healthcare insurance. That is not the case here. Heavy medical bills can drive people to despair. It is traumatic.
Forcing children by their US-based parents to imbibe Indian culture sounds weird. Do you support the approach?
Your postulate is true. Forcing someone into culture does not work. It has to be imbibed. Children have their own thought processes and aspirations. The better option is to guide them on what is beneficial to them in life rather than interfering in their growing process. Parents who understand their children have gained more than those who forced their children. Let the children speak and we listen. Food, dress code, conducting with others, manners and many more subjects should be debated with children with an open mind. Elders should communicate with the juniors. Then, they grow with confidence, without inhibition and fear.
Educated youth get fired up by the thought of tak-ing flight to the West. What and on whom does that reflect?
Whenever anyone goes to another location and gets there what that person has been lacking, he naturally gets fired-up. As a corollary to what you have said, people who come here from the west also get fired up. I have come across many who have wondered saying: Why have you come here (America); your country is so fascinating?
The American social ethos is marked by the loose relation between parents and children, even between individuals — very un Indian. Does it sound okay with you?
The issue you have raised is a topic that we commonly discuss. I was under the same impression in the beginning when I went there. However, after years of close observation, I have realised that in the American way of treating children, they cultivate a stable and mature financial attitude. They are able to face the challenges of life even as they finish their teens. Spoon-feeding children is not in their interest. We can learn this from observing wildlife — survival of the fittest.
You can't imagine a greater contrast between Indians-in-America and Indians-in-India. How to get rid of this awful contrast? Are you optimistic about the happening?
Let me narrate to you an episode in brief. That will answer your point. Once I had two guests from Gujarat — Milind and another — under Rotary exchange programme. Milind at one point said: "What I have observed here is that in America people fear rules, not God. In contrast, in India, people appear to fear God, never the rules." My own understanding is that we in India take both God and rules for granted.
Courtesy: Star of Mysore
