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Some people say that the toilet (water closet - WC) was invented by a Mr. Thomas Crapper (because of his surname). There are people who disagree and say he just popularized it by marketing it. Actually the first patent for the toilet was first issued in 1775 to a Mr. Alexander Cummings. What Crapper in fact did was to improve the then existing design of the toilet and market it.
Who cares? We just want it to be available in our time of need.
Speaking of toilets, there is an ongoing debate in the West as to whether the toilet seat should be up or down.
Most of the males abroad prefer the toilet seat up and the females – down. There is a never ending debate going on about it. Females abroad want it always down. Men, opposite. Men may have to sometimes lift it while using it and then put it down after use because men use the toilet standing up for one job and sitting down for the other. This gives them two chores, putting it up first and then down. Women on the other hand, use it sitting down for both jobs and hence if the seat is always down, it would save them the difficult chore of lowering it. The men resent this, calling it “free - riding” by women. When women are clamoring for equal rights, let them also share the chores of lifting or lowering the toilet seat, they argue. Just assume the toilet seat is down. When a man goes to use it, lifts it, does his job and leaves it up. When a woman goes to use it, she lowers it does her job and leaves it down. This way both men and women have an equal amount of work to do. Women do not agree.
Women try garnering sympathy for “their cause” by saying that they do not want to wake up their husbands at night by putting on the light when they have to go to the bathroom. So they grope in the dark and enter the bathroom but have fallen into the toilet because the seat was up. When they are so considerate, shouldn’t the husbands be considerate as well by putting the seat down after use? The counter argument by men is when the women are so considerate by groping in the dark to go to the bathroom, can’t they be a little more considerate by groping to see whether the toilet seat is up or down before sitting on it???
Funny thing (to us, “ignorant” Indians) is that spouses abroad express their love saying “Darling, you know how much I love you, I always leave the toilet seat up/down for you!!!”. Marriages abroad are said to have broken up because of the up / down issue. Automatic toilet seats so that “marriages can be saved”, have been invented. These automatically come down two minutes after being lifted. The device costs just about $50. There is also a device which has a foot pedal for men to press with their foot, which lifts the seat up, when they use it. The seat comes down when the foot from the pedal is removed.
All this for a toilet seat? Why can’t they just “shut it and forget it”. Oh Oh! Got my vowel wrong there. Have to be careful with your vowels. Things take on a whole different meaning with the wrong usage of vowels. (E.g., pat, pet, pit, pot, put….a e i o u). Okay I’ll rephrase it. Why don’t they just “cap it and forget it”. Oops, there I go again. This time I dropped a consonant.
You have to be very careful with words. Misspellings like the one above or dropping of alphabets from a word is very dangerous. Apart (h)* from giving the wrong meaning, an entirely erroneous meaning may be un - (e)arth.. ed (unearth)* from the misspelling. Speaking of dropping or adding an alphabet to a word, see what will happen when you use the adjective “FAT” (#) (with the misspelling, i. e., adding a word by mistake) when referring to a hefty old man. So please be careful…
In India however, I think the toilet seat is always kept up. Both the seat and the lid are mostly up. Users of both sexes put it down when they want to use it and then put it up after use. This is also because of the particular method of hygiene of us Indians. To me, one so accustomed to seeing our toilets with the seat up, any toilet with the seat left down looks untidy.
Author’s Note:
I love playing with words. Like I have done above (*).
Note:
The two Kannada words. “apaartha” & “anartha” mean more or less the same thing. i. e. “wrong meaning”. With a little poetic license, they are used as the English words “apart” and “unearth” in this article.
(#) The phrase “An old fart” is a derisive term used to refer to any old man and is considered offensive to the aged.
U. V. KINI, a Qualified Company Secretary is currently residing at Margao, Goa, with his wife, son and daughter. He has printed and published two books. "Sanathana Dharma - An introduction to Hinduism" (English) and A compilation of Kannada, Marathi, Hindi and Konkani Bhajans printed in both Kannada and Devanagari scripts.
He has currently commenced work on a third book.
Mr Kini, a member of the Executive committe of GSB Samaj, Goa, was born and brought up in Mangalore and has done his schooling at St. Alosius, Mangalore.
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