U V Kini: Vivaha mattu Viraha

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Jaya & I got married in the summer of ’93. Jaya was still in college at that time. She had just completed her second year graduation. For our honeymoon, we wanted to go to a quiet and romantic getaway and not to the usual run-of-the-mill honeymoon locations. After a lot of searching, we decided to Honeymoon at ‘Kabini River Lodge’. This is an animal sanctuary, about 80 kilometers from Mysore, within the Nagarahole National Park. This place is not cheap but the experience was worth every rupee spent.

There was a natural alarm service to wake you up every morning. I named it “The Great Kabini Avian Philharmonic Orchestra”. What seemed like a million birds would be waking us up with their singing! Some were raucous, but most were melodious and sweet.

There were so many things to keep you busy. Jeep safari’s, elephant safaris, coracle boat rides, campfire dinners and of course, the other usual things a honeymooning couple do. (A coracle is called “teppa’ in Kannada. It is a native boat shaped like a shallow bowl, woven with bamboo sticks and covered with buffalo hide.) Elephant rides would begin very early in the morning when the prospects of seeing the wild animals were the brightest. Two or three elephants carrying guests would at a time. We saw deer, wild boar, bears, Indian bison (gaur), herds of elephants, peacocks dancing, dozens of colourful birds and of course monkeys. If we are lucky, the guards had said, we might get to see a tiger. But we weren’t.

Jeep rides were also exciting. One jeep safari deep into dense jungle was one of the most unforgettable moments of our stay. The access was a narrow dirt road just enough for a jeep to pass through. After about a kilometer into the jungle, we came upon a herd of elephants grazing on leaves and grass. Most of them left us alone. Some would make a mock charge at us from a distance, but when we moved away, they would go back to eating.

One huge tusker however took offence to us being there. He must have been the patriarch of the herd. As we approached, he became agitated and started trumpeting loudly, meaning to say “Get off my land, or else…!”. When we stood our ground gawking at him, he suddenly charged at us. We immediately sensed that this was no mock charge. Because other mock charges would last for a few steps before the elephant gave up. But this tusker just kept on coming. The sight of a huge wild tusker, trumpeting loudly and bearing down on you, head nodding and tail held high, is enough to make you wet your pants. It is one thing to watch an elephant running toward a camera on National Geographic. But when confronted with the real thing, you just freeze. You are so scared stiff, that your feet do not move. The only thing capable of running might be your bladder!

There is nothing that can prepare you for it. It happens in a second. One moment he is just standing there and the next he is running towards you at full speed. He must have been in “Musth”. Musth is a season when bull elephants secrete a thick substance that looks like tar, from the temporal ducts on the sides of their heads. During this season, elephants are extremely aggressive and will fight with any other male elephant. They are also known to attack and kill any human they can see. It is also their mating season.

There was no way to reverse the jeep in the narrow path as it was surrounded by huge trees. We had to go forward toward the elephant! Luckily for us, the driver and guide had been in such situations before, as they told us later. The driver drove forward at full speed and went past the elephant, which was approaching us from an angle. We tore past him when he was about a 30 mts away and hightailed it into the dense jungle. The tusker kept following us for about 300 mts before giving up. I will never forget how my frightened and trembling newly wedded bride held on to my arm, (her knight in shining armour?!), tightly. But now, after so many years of marriage and knowing me inside out, I doubt whether she still thinks I am capable of rescuing her from a charging tusker!

Then came the “Viraha” (separation- in kannada). After about one month of marital bliss, Jaya had to go back to college to finish her third year. If this was a “reel – life” drama, the background song of the scene would have been:

Virahaaaa nooru nooru taraha
Virahaaaa prema kaavyada kahi baraha….
(Kannada film: YeDakallu guDDada mEle)

I used to make a trip to Mangalore almost every weekend during that period. Like I said before, if this was a scene in a movie, the background music and song would change when I reached Mangalore. It would be, I think, the bhavageethe:

Rayaru bandaru maavana manege, raatri aagittu
huNNime harasida baanina naDuve chandira bandittu
.
.
padumaLu bandaLu hoovanu muDiyuta raayara kONeyali……
(From Mysooru Mallige by K. S. Narasimha Swamy)

I suppose summer vacations are when many husbands experience “Viraha”. This is the time when wives, along with the children, go to their mama’s houses leaving the poor husbands to fend for themselves. The children also look forward to playing with their cousins and to being pampered by their grandparents.

For me, the worst part during this brief “Viraha” is when I go home after work. When I unlock the door and enter, an empty house greets me in silence. There is no pitter patter of my little daughter’s tiny feet running towards the front door and her joyful screams “anna, anna”. No smile from my wife. No demands, “anna, makka kasane haLLaa??”(Dad, what have you brought for me?) from my son. I enter my empty home with a feeling of emptiness, collapse on the couch and reach for the TV remote. Just then my empty stomach growls and orders me to prepare dinner.

U. V. KINI, a Qualified Company Secretary is currently residing at Margao, Goa, with his wife, son and daughter. He has printed and published two books. "Sanathana Dharma - An introduction to Hinduism" (English) and A compilation of Kannada, Marathi, Hindi and Konkani Bhajans printed in both Kannada and Devanagari scripts.

He has currently commenced work on a third book.

Mr Kini, a member of the Executive committe of GSB Samaj, Goa, was born and brought up in Mangalore and has done his schooling at St. Alosius, Mangalore.